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 A resource web for Table Hosts and other Friendship In Action Volunteers. Including dates, forms, how-to's, maps and more.

 

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My name is Michelle, I am pleased to tell you about how Friendship Ventures and their Camp Eden Wood program has helped my family.

I grew up in Minnesota in a large family with lots of siblings and cousins, but no one has an illness or disability that falls out of normalcy, except my daughter Jamie. For that reason, no one in my family really understands what it is like to raise a child with special needs. From the day Jamie was born, we have been challenged with her behaviors and disability (but I prefer to say, “different ability”). She did not eat well as an infant, her attention span was short, development was slow in speaking, walking, toilet training. As she got older safety became a big concern…she would touch a hot stove over and over and over until I finally eliminated the front burners. She would escape from the house through locked doors and windows or just wander away from the yard…I had to watch her all of the time for fear of loosing her. Store shopping was often a nightmare because she would disappear in a split second (as if it was a game) and there were comments and stares from store employees who did not understand the challenges of caring for a child that looked normal in every way. “Stranger” danger or abduction became an every minute of every day reality with Jamie and me. Three times in Jamie’s young life I had to call police to seek her out. Helicopters were on site on two occasions and once I had removed her photo from the living room wall, handed it to an officer thinking I was going to be on TV pleading with a stranger to return my child.

When Jamie started school she was evaluated and immediately placed in a pre-kindergarten program with a preliminary diagnosis of ADHD.  Medication helped some but she was still delayed in many ways. Her younger brother had passed her up in development and now he was the “big” brother.

She was always in the LD (Learning Disabled) special ed classrooms. Finally, she was diagnosed with DCD (Developmental Cognitive Disability – what we use to call Mentally Retarded with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). She was 12 when all this takes place. 12 years of not knowing what is exactly wrong with her gave me little hope that I could help this child become a functioning adult.

Later in school at Jamie’s school meetings the staff noted we could be working on some social skills at home. She also qualified for some county services. Jamie’s social worker paid us a home visit and she dropped off a listing of resources, including camps. Camp sounded like maybe an OK idea – some respite for me and new experiences for Jamie.

I found a listing for a camp that will take DCD kids, teens and adults in Eden Prairie. Well, maybe we could do that since EP is only 25 minutes from home and I can be called to get her if anything should arise that the staff or Jamie can’t handle. I called the camp, got a tour, and signed her up for a spring weekend respite with her brother. Siblings can go too and I thought  - wow - all the more safe we will all feel if she isn’t completely alone. They both had a great two and a half days away from home. Jamie talked about “her” camp for a week. So we decided that the next time she could go to camp for a week without her brother. But wow. Now I see the cost of the week at camp. This was more than a month of paychecks. In the registration paperwork was an application for financial assistance to attend camp. I took a chance that we would be approved and hoped I would not have to let this excited child down by telling her she could not go. A few weeks later – we got it! Still anxious but now feeling the pressure that she was going to be away from home for 5 days. The first week at camp. Dropping off - I would not allow myself to cry. I needed this break as much as she needed the social aspect and trying new things. Day one. No call from camp. Must be OK. Day two. No call. Should I call to be sure the camp didn’t burn down and no one can get a hold of me because the lines might be down? Funny, I did get a call her second year at camp by one of the staff. Seems one of her medications only had two pills in it and she takes one a day. The staff saw my address and knew we lived in the same city. I got directions to her house – 4 houses from my brother! and she brought the medication to camp the next morning. This was unexpected and appreciated assistance. Well, I made it to Friday (pickup day). She didn’t see me coming – too busy with her new counselor friends. The best part of camp (for me) is the ride home. All she did was talk, talk, talk about canoeing (canoeing – I’d never have taken her out to do such a thing), bonfire, swinging, field trip to a water park, slept outdoors at night in a real tent, so much fun, each cabin mate was described as were the counselors. This from a youngster who didn’t give a complete sentence response to questions in the past. She didn’t know everyone’s name in her class last year, but knows everyone by name after just 5 days at camp.

Jamie has been going to summer camp for 4 summers and some winter weekend “retreats” I call them. To pick a phrase that best describes Jamie’s time at camp – self esteem building. This is a week in her life that she is not so much the helped…but the helper. At school and in the outside world, Jamie is the one getting help from others. At camp she is not the one needing direct support and looks forward to being a helper with the counselors for the kids who need more help than she does. She’ll hold hands; give support or encouragement “you can do it” kind of thing.

Jamie does not have an obvious appearance of a disability. When people talk to her they feel she is rude or stuck up because she does not answer their questions. They don’t give Jamie enough time to answer. But people who really want to listen (like teachers, friends and camp counselors) give her the brain processing time to have a complete conversation.

Some day she wants to volunteer at Camp and give back some of what she’s taken home in her heart. Thank you to everyone at Friendship Ventures who allowed us to take in much more than a camp experience…it’s a life changing experience.

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Last modified: 09/05/07